VoteKodos.com
Focus of a leader. Kodos (left), with Kang, laughing jovially
He's not Bush or Kerry.
Another election year, and what options do the voters have? A bumbling republican redneck who can't string 3 words together? An indecisive, untrustworthy democrat who can't wait to lead the country to disaster? Fear not, voters.
There is another choice.
You, no doubt, have many questions about the mighty Kodos. Consider this page your guide. After reading the information here, it will become clear that Kodos is the only choice !

What party affiliation does Kodos run under ?
The green party. [1]

Who is Kodos' running mate ?
While Kodos has no need for assistance, he feels that a human vice presidential candidate could improve his image among voters. This person needed to be extremely unattractive, so that no temptation would exist to devour them. Slight insanity was also preferred, so this individual would never be taken seriously. Ross Perot will be Kodos' running mate.



Why makes Kodos the best choice?
Unlike the Republican and Democratic candidates - who tend to be indecisive - Kodos has very clear stances. Kodos is strongly pro-life and anti-capital punishment, as an abundance of fully grown humans is key to his long-term diet. Kodos is against gay marriage, as homosexual relationships are unlikely to produce any offspring, or at least none that would be desirable to consume. Kodos also favors a 2% tax increase for the rich, and free butter for the unfortunate, undelicious poor.

How does Kodos stack up against the other two candidates ?
Against Bush, Kodos' clear intellectual superiority makes him an obvious choice. Had Kodos been president, the Al Qaeda network would be nothing more than a memory, and the skull of Osama Bin laden would adorn the white house entrance. Kodos' swift decision-making skills put Kerry to shame. Kodos views Kerry as soft and weak, perhaps a better candidate for a nanny than the president. Kodos is also significantly more attractive than Kerry, and wears less makeup.

Kodos is a veteran of numerous interstellar wars and is a decisive, fearless leader. With Kodos in charge, the enemies of our country will be crushed without mercy, and their remains devoured. Hail Kodos !
Kodos, during the war of the planets [holding zaxtron hyperaccelerator]

Why would I vote for a 7-foot alien ?
Do you really want to see Kerry in charge of the country ? Do you want to have Bush in the white house for 4 more years ?

Don't you need to be a U.S. citizen to run for president ?
You will be eaten first.

How do I vote for Kodos?
When you are in the voting booth on November 2nd, Kodos may or may not be a listed choice. Excluding Kodos from the official ballot has been a clever trick by his enemies', who will be eaten, to prevent Kodos from reaching high office. There should be an option for "write-in". Be sure to write "KODOS" legibly so your vote for the future overlord is counted and you are not devoured.

Can I vote for Kang?
Yes, but you will be eaten when Kodos wins (You may also be eaten if Kerry wins, depending on current legislation).


In bed with the enemy?
Heart of a Champion.
Horrifying.
Bush, Kerry, or an 7-foot alien that consumes human meat? The choice is clear. Vote Kodos !

[1] Shamelessly stolen from Futurama.

Jeff(AT)GoldSaucer.com